There’s something so comforting about waking up, pressed against a warm body, with a big hand shoved in the back pocket of the jeans you fell asleep in. I didn’t want to leave. I wanted to lay curled up in him for the rest of the day. He smelled so good. I should have called out of work. It’s been a really long time since I have woken up with a smile on my face. I’ve been so sad for such a long time. I spend most of my days pushing myself hard to stay busy so my mind won’t wonder to the negatives. I’m glad that something about these soulful eyes pulls me out of that state of mind. I have been completely consumed by him. I am suddenly at ease. I like living in the right now. Worrying about the past and what could come in the future is what mentally drains people and completely kills a good thing. I don’t want this feeling to ever leave.
He’s going to stumble across this one day and finally see what a nut I am. He knows I write about him but I wont let him read it. I know I’m going to run my big mouth and show it to him. I suck at keeping secrets.
I read this and liked it.
“We are taught to compare and compete endlessly. We are taught that love is limited and someone will take it away from us. It keeps us trying to control the uncontrollable. It keeps us focused on small and insignificant things that drain our life energy. It keeps us separate and disconnected even when in a relationship. We keep secrets for fear of punishment or scarier yet for fear of being seen.
But I see a different possibility and it’s one I’ve been fortunate enough to live. Where we let go of what we have been told and design relationships that reflect our values. Where we own our humanity and yes, how scary jealousy can feel. Relationships where we choose to share what’s true. Because being true is more important than keeping anyone or anything. Because when we aren’t being true, we might lose the very most important thing. OURSELVES.
There will only ever be one me and one you. We don’t have to worry about competing. We have already won everything. You are you, uniquely you.”
My apologies for turning my typical not so serious, funny post into this disgusting feelings crap. Next time I’ll do better I promise.
Until then, stay classy assholes.