I’ve been in this sad panda funk for way too long. Maybe its the lack of sun and the drop of temperature that was bringing me down.
Yesterday I had a really tough day at work. I got my feelings hurt. I had been working on this project for a hot minute and someone literally came and took my notes off my desk and stole my thunder. If you knew how much time I put into the research, it would make you sick too. I decided to just keep my mouth shut. When I got off work I sat in my car and just let everything go. I’m sure I looked like a fool just sitting there crying my eyes out. I cried all the way to Boys and Girls Club. Time to fix your face and get your youngin, get your shit together Jenn. Get home and crawl in a ball on the couch and cry some more. I feel a tap from a tiny finger on my shoulder. My daughter tells me to hurry up and come outside. I’m glad I did. The sunset was beautiful.
We decided to run as fast as we could towards it so we could get a better picture. The fresh air was nice. We ran until we could barely stand it. I was quite impressed I could out run my 7yr old. Endurance baby. Got back home and I was surprised how much better I felt. I really need to get back to my daily runs. It’s just getting so cold and I’m so tired. Excuses, Excuses. I guess the OCD bug bite me last night because I suddenly decided to tear apart my child’s room. There may have been a bottle of wine or two involved. I dumped every drawer, every bag, all the contents of her closet, everything into the middle of the floor. It is absolutely ridiculous the amount of stuff that she has. I didn’t know hoarding started at such a young age. While she was still awake and “attempting” to help me clean, I couldn’t get much done. I say “attempting” because digging thru piles of junk and finding new stuff to play with isn’t what I consider organizing. There was so much stuff that just needed to be tossed. She wouldn’t have any of it. Those pieces of trash were “special memories.” NO IT”S LITERALLY A PIECE OF TRASH. I may be mean and heartless but as soon as that child closed her eyes I began the purge. You wouldn’t believe the shit I found.
- Collection of my receipts from different restaurants
- TONS of candy wrappers
- 500 miss matched socks
- Every stuffed animal I owed when I was a kid (thanks mom)
- Her dad’s watch he lost like 2 years ago.
- The remote to the TV I lost 1 year ago.
- 5 headless barbies.
- 13 naked creepy baby dolls.
- The box my vibrator came in (she had to dig this out of the trash because it was a bight pink box)
The list goes on. Lets just say I kept warm last night sitting by the fire. Ahh the smell of burning plastic and accomplishment. Don’t worry I didn’t start tossing important stuff. Just trash and broken toys. There was enough to fill up 3 boxes. I’m still not done.
See the game plan is to completely redo her bedroom for Christmas. She really wants a Paris themed room. Why? No fucking clue. She doesn’t know shit about Paris. I guess it’s just a “little girl trend.” So I have ordered her a new bed, curtains, lamps, rugs, wall décor, chandelier, and tons of other stuff. On Christmas eve, I’m going to put her to bed at my mom’s house and stay up all night painting the walls in pink glitter, putting together a bed, and putting everything in place. I’m super excited about it and I know it’s something she really wants.
A clean, neat and organized house makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I was also pretty drunk at this point. So having my life together meant that I could take my pants off without falling down. Now I’m struggling to keep my eyes open because I stayed up too late sending pictures of my butt to king daddy. I know I should be ashamed of myself. BUT I’M NOT. Sorry not sorry. Maybe it will get me penciled in his busy weekend. I know. Pathetic, but FUN.
Other than being sleepy, I feel pretty fantastic today. It’s back to the obnoxious early morning office smiles from Jenn. I’m on like my third cup of coffee. Of course I’m seeing sounds and hearing colors.
Hope everyone is having a lovely Hump Day.
Stay classy, assholes.