Online dating: Experiment results.

I know, I know. I said I would never resort back to online dating. But here I am on day 2 of a Plenty of Fish profile. I’m just lost and bored. I have a really hard time taking these things seriously. Mainly because the majority of the people on this site just want sex. Which is fine. I can deal with the fact that being noncommittal makes life a lot easier. I think I keep trying to convince myself to adapt to that lifestyle but truth is my heart is too big and Ill probably end up catching the feels. I still hang onto a little hope though. Hope that I’ll meet someone one day that makes me believe that falling in love really does happen. I don’t care about labels. I just want warmth and time. I want to wake up in someone’s arms, get a kiss on the forehead and see complete awe and happiness in that person’s eyes. That’s all I really care about, for someone to care.

Ok back to this situation on the phone. aka POF.

I’m switching back and forth between the male and female market. Just seeing what is all out there.  It’s kind of fucked up I’m just turning this into a high school science experiment. But hey it’s pretty fun and maybe ill meet someone cool along the way.

Here is what I found.
Females.
Market is very slim. Women are super straight forward. The majority of the ones on the site are in a straight relationship but are looking for a bedroom playmate. They are VERY upfront and honest about it too. See women get it. Straight and to the point so no one is ever sitting around wondering what the hell is going on. It’s super hard to find someone to connect with via conversation. I don’t understand, in public, I can friend every girl in that place but online I can’t even get a girl to carry on a conversation past hey whats up.

Males.
Oh fellas. 90% of these guys are like talking to a sack of potatoes. A sack of potatoes that want you to see their genitals. haha spuds. Some guys send these long messages about how beautiful your eyes are and how they would love to wine and dine you blah blah blah.  It has made me realize that I don’t like being talked sweet to. I like playful sarcastic banter. While you call me something cute like baby girl or cunt muffin. HA. Some guys type like that are shitfaced drunk and you have a hard time understanding anything. The really attractive ones apparently sold their brains and souls to the devil for their good looks cause aint nothing else there. I secretly want to meet some of these guys because they have the most adorable dog in the profile picture. Yes I said it, I want the dog, not you. If youre just “coming thru town on business” I don’t want to be your tour guide or call girl. You’re really old. Why must you post pictures with all these others guys that look more my type. Like who is homeboy to the left, give him my number! Guys, get you a good haircut, it will do wonders for your love life, I promise. Speaking of promises, some guy made me swear of my dead ancestors that I would talk to him again. Eww neediness.

I can’t wait for the upcoming date stories. The chronicles of my pathetic love life. Part 2.

I really just need to delete this app and keep going to the gym. That way I’ll be super hot and don’t have to go on dumb dating websites to find other emotionally damaged people to have bad conversation with.

Hope everyone’s Wednesday is going well. Stay classy assholes!

 

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