This Grinch needs a drink.

I officially got caught up in the Christmas crazy. The other night I found myself laying in the middle of the floor, covered in tape, wrapping paper, tangled in ribbon and crying. I was more stressed than a horse in a glue factory. Really I did this to myself. The holidays aren’t about buying the best and most expensive presents. It’s about being with the people you love. Unfortunately, the people I love suck.

I found out at work that one of the guys has been advertising me to all the FedEx and UPS workers. It’s pretty equivalent to having your number written on the wall in the men’s bar bathroom. I was wondering why the men acted so strangely when I had to sign for a package. Apparently he had been telling all of them that I was single, like to drink and I’ve been inquiring about who they were and I’d like to buy them lunch sometime. Keep in mind that yes I am single, yes I love to drink, but I never said a damn word about any of these men. I don’t ever really see them unless they come to be directly to sign for something. Well turns out I have a date with a guy named George next week. Haha.

You know what I have learned about dating recently? Once you take expectation out of the equation then things go great and you don’t get your feelings hurt. If you go into something with high expectations of romance and love, then I’m sorry to tell you shug, but 99.5% of the time your feelings are going to get knocked down quick. I mean he is going to let you live that dream for a little bit in the beginning, but as soon as he sees those feels being caught…then here comes the “sorry I’ve just been so busy” or “my bad my phone has been dead the entire weekend.” You like how I started with Christmas stress and turned it into a conversation about my shitty dating life. I can’t help myself.

I took Wednesday off of work. I needed a day to breathe. I was so far behind in the shit I had to do that I felt like I was drowning. Luckily I got everything done Tuesday night and I had all day Wednesday to be a lazy shit. It was kinda sorta the most fantastic day ever. I was woken up by a sleepy eyed king daddy. I know I have probably talked about this far too many times but let me tell you…this man can drive you crazy just by the look in his eyes. It’s sincere and seductive and gives me the goose bumps. It apparently makes my underwear disappear also. LOL. All I’m trying to say is my morning started off right. Then spent the rest of the day shopping with the kids and then relaxing watching movies and drinking drinks so strong I should probably have a grizzly man chest by now.

I dreaded going to work on Thursday. I had such a relaxing and wonderful day off. When I got to work I had gifts on my desk. THIS IS EXCITING. No one ever buys me shit.  There was a taped up piece of paper with a smiley face drawn on it. I ripped it open, read the contents and started balling like a baby. smilesThere was $100 bucks folded up in this letter. I have no idea who it came from and everyone I have asked has no clue either. This is literally the sweetest thing I have ever gotten. A little background info: Every morning I walk into the office with the biggest shit eating grin imaginable. All day I just smile at people as much as possible. I’m trying to shine some positivity on all these negative nancys. Normally everyone just shakes their head or asks me if I’m on drugs. But reading this made me feel really good. My infectious smile finally mattered to someone. I just wish I knew who.

Lesson of the day: never let anyone dim your light because someone out there is relying on your light to pull them out of the darkness.

My glasses finally came in. I feel like the biggest nerd but my God can I see better. Also, today at work I haven’t had a headache due to staring at the computer screen all day. This guy at work who is always a complete dick to me actually stopped me in thgloassese hallway and told me he really liked my glasses. I can only assume that he has one of those naughty school teacher fetishes. Work is such a breeze today. Most everyone is off so I have no one bothering me. I’ve got some good music playing in the background and people keep bringing me super yummy food. I swear I’m going to gain 5lbs just today from all this shit. Just for breakfast we had cheesesteak omelets, nutella donuts and then someone brought  chicken minis.  Calm your shit people.  I’m trying to lose weight not have to ask for new bigger pants for Christmas.

Well I have about another hour until I can get this holiday started. which translates into I’m going to get drunk and fall down.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and you get plenty sex, alcohol and fuzzy warm socks.

Stay classy assholes!

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